The Bible teacher began a women’s class on marriage with the question, “How many of you truly wish to mother your husband?” One hand in the back of the room raised timidly. The teacher asked the woman, “Are you sure you want to be a mother to your husband rather than to be his wife and helpmate?” The young woman replied, “Oh, I thought you said smother him.”

If you laugh at this story, it might reveal that you also relate to being frustrated at times with your husband. Be assured, you are not alone.  I do not know any wife who has not had moments of frustration with her husband—including me!

A woman once told me that my life was so blessed that I could not possibly understand the frustrations and troubles of other women. I almost laughed as I thought through some of my life experiences. Yes, my life has been blessed by the grace of God. No, neither I nor my life has been perfect.

She was talking to a woman who in anger slammed a car door on her finger and had the additional humiliation of needing to be rescued by the subject of her anger. Another time, on a very cold night in Texas, I was so upset that I just wanted to get out of the house for a while. I went to the closet to get my coat and car keys, but Rick stood in the doorway and would not let me out. No matter how either of us felt at the moment, he was protecting me from danger. I was so frustrated that I just sat on the floor and cried. Finally, my husband moved into the closet and sat in front of me. We sat on the floor for over an hour talking. It was a very painful time for both of us, but God brought us through the trauma. No, Rick and I are not different from anyone else. We have experienced many ups and downs during our 57 years of marriage. If anyone had told me thirty years ago that we would enjoy the closeness we experience today, I would not have believed them.

There is a problem in looking at other women’s lives to validate biblical womanhood for all women. Other women’s ability to experience God’s grace and blessing in their lives may have nothing to do with her frustrations or the variety of troubles with which she must live. For any woman to live biblically, she must be willing to trust God beyond what her eyes can see—even if her emotions or the whole world tells her otherwise. A woman’s foremost requirement is for her to have an all-abiding commitment to God and His Word. Trusting the Lord in all things is so important that if a woman ceases her commitment to Him, she will lose His viewpoint of life and become discouraged and fearful.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).


I must close now because my husband just asked me to go outside with him to see a beautiful full rainbow. Ricky knows my love of God’s rainbows. To me, they are a personal reminder of His faithfulness to His Word and His abundant gifts of grace in my life.

Virginia Ruth Fugate